Rental patient
Your humble narrator was quietly keeping to himself behind the counter. All the customers on the floor appeared to have things well under control and where playing nicely with the other children. It was an idyll too peaceful and productive for the fates not to tweak a thread for comedic effect.
So a gentleman approaches the counter and lays down a video without a word. Making the assumption his intent is to make the movie his very own, I begin to ring him up. When I bring up the total, he looks startled and tells me that no, he was just intending to rent that DVD.
Oh I'm terribly sorry, my mind reading skills must be off tonight. Perhaps in the future you could say something to that effect next time just in case my precognitive powers aren't at full strength that day either.
That said, this happens all the bloody time. I void out the sale and prepare to look his happy butt up in the system. Except, he's still just standing there smiling at me like a pithed Care Bear. I'll need the name on the account sir.
So he gives me his first name.
Why in the name of Demeter's Diaper-rash do people always provide their fucking given name when someone is attempting to look them up?! I've yet to ever see a database where people were listed on the basis of their damned first name. Regardless, it isn't even a search option for the system. That's great, but your first name is useless for my purposes.
Appearing as if I have just now revealed some deep and ineffable mystery of the universe, he finally provides me with his last name thereby allowing me to get this show on the road. Bare seconds elapse before I have his account up and the movie added to it, whereupon he wants me to wait for a moment.
Annoying, but again, this shit happens all the bloody time. It's a trivial matter to add more videos for him, provided he's quick in his last second additions.
He trots back to a bit and looks at one of the shelves where he promptly turns toward me and asks "can I rent that one?"
No, you lack the necessary skills to check that movie out. Whichever one of them over there that you happen to be referring to that is. Why do must you insist I can read your mind? Granted it can't be that complex of an organ for you, but I have difficulty puzzling out the phonetic scribblings of a dyslexic with a dull crayon. I have no idea which movie you're asking about, sir.
He makes an apologetic "oh" sound and picks a box up off the rack. "Can I rent this?"
Oh yeah, that made things so much easier. So you're now assuming I have the visual acuity of an eagle? Nice. It's no problem at all for me to identify that five-by-seven inch cover you just waved in my general direction. Not only that, but I've also memorized every last movie that is sale only here in the store including the ones that have multiple copies. I can't tell from here. It should tell you on the label though.
Apparently this was something that required special training so he finally brought it up to the counter. I flip the box over to reveal the store tag. Sale only, so no, it's not available for rent.
That crushed his hopes and dreams. He would be content with the first movie he brought up to rent. He'd just be helpful while his rental slip was being generated by the printer and put the other movie back; three racks and twenty some yards from where he picked it up from minutes before.
I wanted to stab him with the ball-point pen I handed him to sign his damned slip.
So a gentleman approaches the counter and lays down a video without a word. Making the assumption his intent is to make the movie his very own, I begin to ring him up. When I bring up the total, he looks startled and tells me that no, he was just intending to rent that DVD.
Oh I'm terribly sorry, my mind reading skills must be off tonight. Perhaps in the future you could say something to that effect next time just in case my precognitive powers aren't at full strength that day either.
That said, this happens all the bloody time. I void out the sale and prepare to look his happy butt up in the system. Except, he's still just standing there smiling at me like a pithed Care Bear. I'll need the name on the account sir.
So he gives me his first name.
Why in the name of Demeter's Diaper-rash do people always provide their fucking given name when someone is attempting to look them up?! I've yet to ever see a database where people were listed on the basis of their damned first name. Regardless, it isn't even a search option for the system. That's great, but your first name is useless for my purposes.
Appearing as if I have just now revealed some deep and ineffable mystery of the universe, he finally provides me with his last name thereby allowing me to get this show on the road. Bare seconds elapse before I have his account up and the movie added to it, whereupon he wants me to wait for a moment.
Annoying, but again, this shit happens all the bloody time. It's a trivial matter to add more videos for him, provided he's quick in his last second additions.
He trots back to a bit and looks at one of the shelves where he promptly turns toward me and asks "can I rent that one?"
No, you lack the necessary skills to check that movie out. Whichever one of them over there that you happen to be referring to that is. Why do must you insist I can read your mind? Granted it can't be that complex of an organ for you, but I have difficulty puzzling out the phonetic scribblings of a dyslexic with a dull crayon. I have no idea which movie you're asking about, sir.
He makes an apologetic "oh" sound and picks a box up off the rack. "Can I rent this?"
Oh yeah, that made things so much easier. So you're now assuming I have the visual acuity of an eagle? Nice. It's no problem at all for me to identify that five-by-seven inch cover you just waved in my general direction. Not only that, but I've also memorized every last movie that is sale only here in the store including the ones that have multiple copies. I can't tell from here. It should tell you on the label though.
Apparently this was something that required special training so he finally brought it up to the counter. I flip the box over to reveal the store tag. Sale only, so no, it's not available for rent.
That crushed his hopes and dreams. He would be content with the first movie he brought up to rent. He'd just be helpful while his rental slip was being generated by the printer and put the other movie back; three racks and twenty some yards from where he picked it up from minutes before.
I wanted to stab him with the ball-point pen I handed him to sign his damned slip.
posted by Lanius at 5:58 PM
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