Pay attention to what I say, not what I do
Why is it that people will immediately deny they are or are doing a particular thing just before they go about doing just that? It seems that no matter what walk of life a person is, they will attempt the preemptive lie.
Does it ever work? In the history of life on this planet, has it even once thrown another off the trail?
"Hey man, I'm not a cheater." "No problem, I'm sure you just happened to trip and fall with your pants off pushing my wife out of her clothes and into a sex swing with your coincidentally condom-clad penis ending up in her vagina. I'm so glad you explained that to me. That could have been so awkward."
"I just wanted to let you know I'm not some sort of junkie or anything." "Oh by all means carry on. I'm sure the needle hanging out of your arm is to treat your diabetes."
"Don't worry dude, I'm not gonna steal nothin'" "Splendid. Wonderful to have such honest citizens patronizing my store. I'll just take a bit of a nap while you innocently see how many cock rings you can fit in your pockets."
If someone wasn't suspicious of their behavior up to that point, they bloody will be now. It takes someone anticipating and planning to be called on something to be primed to immediately plead their specific innocence at first contact with another. In virtually every case, that means that person was engaged in precisely what they are afraid of being accused of. It's like nervously telling yourself over and over not to scream out "Oh yeah mom, take it like a whore!" at the height of passion with your lover. Congratulations, you just sabotaged yourself by guaranteeing your biggest fear was foremost in your mind. You can do the same very easily to someone else.
Don't believe me? I dare you to approach a random stranger and tell them, "Hi, how are you doing? I assure you I have no plans to drug you and chain you in my basement until the voices get too loud and I have to masturbate with the fatty deposits over your kidneys and knit your skin into an afghan."
The cops will be there before the puddle of urine where your new friend was standing cools.
So why is this so wide spread? Is it simply a fatal and exploitable weakness in the human brain to offer an abject denial of reality when caught out? Or is it some nigh universal conditioning that hard-wires the reflex as a valid method of avoiding consequences?
In addition, making three individual trips into the store concluding each time with a request to hold onto some merchandise for your return, just makes me want to taze you unconscious and see how long lack of sleep, uncomfortable body positions and water-boarding will take to make you want to tell me every last sin you've committed past, present, and future.
Does it ever work? In the history of life on this planet, has it even once thrown another off the trail?
"Hey man, I'm not a cheater." "No problem, I'm sure you just happened to trip and fall with your pants off pushing my wife out of her clothes and into a sex swing with your coincidentally condom-clad penis ending up in her vagina. I'm so glad you explained that to me. That could have been so awkward."
"I just wanted to let you know I'm not some sort of junkie or anything." "Oh by all means carry on. I'm sure the needle hanging out of your arm is to treat your diabetes."
"Don't worry dude, I'm not gonna steal nothin'" "Splendid. Wonderful to have such honest citizens patronizing my store. I'll just take a bit of a nap while you innocently see how many cock rings you can fit in your pockets."
If someone wasn't suspicious of their behavior up to that point, they bloody will be now. It takes someone anticipating and planning to be called on something to be primed to immediately plead their specific innocence at first contact with another. In virtually every case, that means that person was engaged in precisely what they are afraid of being accused of. It's like nervously telling yourself over and over not to scream out "Oh yeah mom, take it like a whore!" at the height of passion with your lover. Congratulations, you just sabotaged yourself by guaranteeing your biggest fear was foremost in your mind. You can do the same very easily to someone else.
Don't believe me? I dare you to approach a random stranger and tell them, "Hi, how are you doing? I assure you I have no plans to drug you and chain you in my basement until the voices get too loud and I have to masturbate with the fatty deposits over your kidneys and knit your skin into an afghan."
The cops will be there before the puddle of urine where your new friend was standing cools.
So why is this so wide spread? Is it simply a fatal and exploitable weakness in the human brain to offer an abject denial of reality when caught out? Or is it some nigh universal conditioning that hard-wires the reflex as a valid method of avoiding consequences?
In addition, making three individual trips into the store concluding each time with a request to hold onto some merchandise for your return, just makes me want to taze you unconscious and see how long lack of sleep, uncomfortable body positions and water-boarding will take to make you want to tell me every last sin you've committed past, present, and future.
posted by Lanius at 6:35 PM
1 Comments:
You know, that might be an effective counterploy...
"Hey dude, I aint gonna steal nothin'."
"Oh, I know, just as I assure you I have no plans to drug you and chain you in my basement until the voices get too loud and I have to masturbate with the fatty deposits over your kidneys and knit your skin into an afghan."
If you do try it, let us know how it goes!
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