Stupid and gross go hand in hand
I watch the young man make his slow, directionless progress through the sales floor. With deliberate gravity, he would select a movie off the shelves to examine for a handful of minutes before placing it back on the shelf in the general vicinity of where it had been.
Quite obviously, someone who seems bent on creating a mess for others to clean up without any fiduciary benefit to the store is going to find them high on the list of things that need to be dealt with as soon as humanly possible. Therefore, I approached him, pausing only to put back into order the shelves he'd turned his attentions to on my way. The closer I get, the younger the details of his appearance become.
My initial greeting segued from a solicitous inquiry on whether he was finding everything without difficulty into an immediate polite request to provide ID.
It was a request he could not comply with.
Of course he'd say he "forgot his license" with all the believability the quotes would confer to his statement. On the bright side, I had conclusively ended the guerrilla reorganization he'd been authoring of the DVDs. I informed him with a touch of regret that without ID I was forced to have him vacate the premises.
He countered with a request to use the rest room.
No, I just told you that you're not legally allowed to be here. The bathroom is still "here." Therefore, you aren't legally allowed to use our restroom.
Moments after he passes the front door, he whips it out and takes a whiz in the middle of our parking lot.
Too bad there was not a police officer passing by right then, because yelling at the moron didn't feel at all adequate to what he had coming for pulling that stunt.
Quite obviously, someone who seems bent on creating a mess for others to clean up without any fiduciary benefit to the store is going to find them high on the list of things that need to be dealt with as soon as humanly possible. Therefore, I approached him, pausing only to put back into order the shelves he'd turned his attentions to on my way. The closer I get, the younger the details of his appearance become.
My initial greeting segued from a solicitous inquiry on whether he was finding everything without difficulty into an immediate polite request to provide ID.
It was a request he could not comply with.
Of course he'd say he "forgot his license" with all the believability the quotes would confer to his statement. On the bright side, I had conclusively ended the guerrilla reorganization he'd been authoring of the DVDs. I informed him with a touch of regret that without ID I was forced to have him vacate the premises.
He countered with a request to use the rest room.
No, I just told you that you're not legally allowed to be here. The bathroom is still "here." Therefore, you aren't legally allowed to use our restroom.
Moments after he passes the front door, he whips it out and takes a whiz in the middle of our parking lot.
Too bad there was not a police officer passing by right then, because yelling at the moron didn't feel at all adequate to what he had coming for pulling that stunt.
posted by Lanius at 7:40 PM
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