Token attempt
It can be hard to predict how a given shift will go or just what will chance past the front door. The other night, a scraggly fellow marched up the register area as soon as he crossed the threshold and informed me he wished to "cash these in." Scarcely had the words escaped his lips than I heard the sound of metal hitting the floor, the unmistakable sound of metallic disks striking.
Excellent, he probably wasn't attempting a crack-hazed hold-up. He swore and bent over to collect his dropped change.
At the same time, once I caught what he said, I had a sharp suspicion this was going to be something for the blog. We have never carried anything that could be cashed in. I suppose he could have simply picked an odd way to request bills for spare change, so I waited until he deposited a small stack on the worn counter-top.
They weren't silver.
Alright, maybe the dingy bastard had somehow been handed some of those gold-hued dollar coins that crop up here and there. I scoop them up and immediately note a lack of heft. No bloody way these are legal tender. A split-second later, my gaze takes in the image struck into the face of the "coin". A jovial member of the species famed for conducting the Black Death throughout Europe and now shills mediocre pizza to snot-nosed crotch-crickets is smirking back at me.
How droll.
I set the tokens back in front of him and let the sarcasm serve as sauce to my words when I tell him nice try.
His hopeful expression crumbles like an over-the-hill Oliver Twist watching the Artful Dodger kick at the end of a tarred rope three feet off the ground. As he takes back his worthless trinkets, he then attempts to play the victim with a supposedly rueful statement that "they lied to him."
Perhaps "they" sell him on a falsehood; that we've all suffered a collective stroke to the degree we'll now exchange tokens for cash despite the fact nothing in the store uses tokens, I have never heard of any business that will redeem tokens for cash, and the token was made for a company that should NEVER be connected with pornography. I bet he'll protest to the end that "Sum Dood" took advantage of his good nature and innate honesty.
I gave him until the count of five to be off the premises.
Excellent, he probably wasn't attempting a crack-hazed hold-up. He swore and bent over to collect his dropped change.
At the same time, once I caught what he said, I had a sharp suspicion this was going to be something for the blog. We have never carried anything that could be cashed in. I suppose he could have simply picked an odd way to request bills for spare change, so I waited until he deposited a small stack on the worn counter-top.
They weren't silver.
Alright, maybe the dingy bastard had somehow been handed some of those gold-hued dollar coins that crop up here and there. I scoop them up and immediately note a lack of heft. No bloody way these are legal tender. A split-second later, my gaze takes in the image struck into the face of the "coin". A jovial member of the species famed for conducting the Black Death throughout Europe and now shills mediocre pizza to snot-nosed crotch-crickets is smirking back at me.
How droll.
I set the tokens back in front of him and let the sarcasm serve as sauce to my words when I tell him nice try.
His hopeful expression crumbles like an over-the-hill Oliver Twist watching the Artful Dodger kick at the end of a tarred rope three feet off the ground. As he takes back his worthless trinkets, he then attempts to play the victim with a supposedly rueful statement that "they lied to him."
Perhaps "they" sell him on a falsehood; that we've all suffered a collective stroke to the degree we'll now exchange tokens for cash despite the fact nothing in the store uses tokens, I have never heard of any business that will redeem tokens for cash, and the token was made for a company that should NEVER be connected with pornography. I bet he'll protest to the end that "Sum Dood" took advantage of his good nature and innate honesty.
I gave him until the count of five to be off the premises.
posted by Lanius at 8:53 PM
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