Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Catering to trends

Continuing on in the contemplation of wide-spread fantasies is that of "the Pampered." The concept is simple. One person, the Pampered, enjoys the other devoting themselves to their pleasure. It can be as unadorned as the half-joking situation of a woman coming home after a long day to find a half-naked bit of eye-candy has dusted, vacuumed, made dinner, and is finishing up the dishes. A common next step would be after savoring a perfectly prepared meal, enjoying an extended massage, perhaps taking in a favorite show/movie, and capped off with inspired sex. It can be as involved and ornate as the "sultan in his seraglio" where his lover has devoted themselves to meeting his least whim.

I can see why it's something that comes up often. People like to feel special. The sensation of being so singularly important to someone else can be emotionally very profound. In addition, since you're the one being spoiled and indulged, your only duty is enjoy their labors on your behalf. A lot of people who identify themselves as submissive will reverse the roles of this, getting their excitement from how much pleasure the person they are pampering is deriving from their efforts.

As fantasies go, it's generally well suited toward action in real life. It doesn't require booking a spa for a couple hours followed by a weekend in some five-star hotel suite, though that can be one option. It could be as simple as dressing up, making a favorite dish, and greeting them at the door with a blowjob. The major criteria are generally imagination and effort. In addition, the pampering fantasy also has the benefit that usually each side can enjoy direct feed-back as to the enjoyment of the other.

Does this particular urge cause problems in relationships? Does it evoke an unrealistic expectation of being catered to?

For the most part, I would disagree that it carries much in the way of negatives. It encourages people to not only take the time to appreciate those things that are done for them, but to find enjoyment in doing things for their partner's joy as well.

That said, some people will take it to an unhealthy extreme. Those prone to narcissistic behavior will respond to this fantasy with enthusiasm, as such effort on the part of others is only their due. Those prone to martyring themselves will adhere to this fantasy as one more method to suffer/endure to show how deeply they care. But just like those who would take the rape fantasy in brutish, sick direction, those who have the tendency will find their avenues to express their unhealthy desires.

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