Guys, you look like shit
This may sound rather odd to those who might encounter me in the flesh since I am a poster-child for the whole casual outlook on fashion, but what the bloody hell is wrong with society in regards to dressing? For quite some time it has seemed that women are expected to clean and put-together when they leave the house. Perhaps it's the region or perception on my part, but there also seems to be some pressure toward sexualizing that apparel as well. When you can run across soccer mom's sporting "whale tail," you know that events are teetering on the raw edge of anarchy.
However, that isn't what has filled me with consternation. Instead it is what men get away with wearing. I see guys looking like they burrowed their way out of a laundry pile, somehow managing to end up with the right type of garments on the right bits of flesh, who to hear them conversing are the apex of male fashion. What terrifies me is that they might be right. Short, stick-like boggles of swaggering masculinity will bedeck themselves in athletic gear proportioned for men of dramatically more impressive stature. Doughy, sallow men covered in unkempt, wiry body hair with their trousers clinging tenuously to their clammy thighs and thread-bare wife-beater t-shirts straining to contain the rapidly expanding belly will pause to strike what they must believe is a statuesque pose whenever a woman's eye should stray their way.
Sure, these are horrific, extreme examples. Unfortunately, if you look at the appearance of men as a whole, these guys typify the trend. They are the undiluted essence of what is considered acceptable, nay preferred, in male attire. How many dudes are wearing shirts that with the simple addition of a belt would turn it into a jumper? Why is it trendy for wispy, anemic facial hair to be allowed to remain like dying lichen on the jaws of a generation? When did the concept of fitting clothing to a man's frame fall forgotten by the wayside outside of formal and business attire? Why in the name of Odin's furry cod-piece have women decided that they're willing to be seen with a twenty-something year old who still looks to be wearing hand-me-downs from his gigantic older sibling?
It's like
Granted, most of the time I look like lightly warmed-over crap, but I'm not really expecting to turn any heads either. In fact, it's a bit of a liability to catch people's eye from behind the counter here. A bit of sloth can prevent a surprising amount of aging queen pick-up lines. When I choose to, I can cut a fine figure. But it still annoys me on a fundamental level that the bar seems to be low insultingly low. Is my gender so criminally inept that a steeper benchmark is unreachable? If so, is it honestly worth it to cater to such low ability?
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