Garbage in, garbage out
I was behind a bank of display cases assisting a customer with selecting a trinket when a previously unencountered young woman swept into the store trailed by a dim-visaged young man. With instincts honed to razor sharpness, I was already excusing myself from my immediate customer. By the time I had cleared the cases and was able to lengthen my stride, they'd slipped into the arcade. Exactly as I suspected they would as well as the largest booth.
They were efficient little buggers. As my fist rapped on the door, they already had the movie going. Such expeditious urgency would have been commendable were it not for the fact they had not only failed to surrender the surcharge for the room, but had cut in front of a couple that had stopped at the counter to get that very room.
Money changed hands, other patrons were assisted, and I waited possessed of a premonition that there was going to be a second act to the matter of the speedy couple.
To my perverse enjoyment of understanding my own little slice of the universe, I was correct. After spending perhaps fifteen minutes at most viewing their movies, the woman emerged and hustled her companion out of the store with unseemly haste.
Either they had just coated the entire interior of the room with petroleum jelly and hoped to make it to the highway before a cry for vengeance could be roused or she was playing "pit crew."
The door had scarcely closed behind them before she was in with another guy.
Some day I am going to have to find a way to get paid for accurately predicting base actions of humanity. My fortune would become legendary, if not mythic in scope.
Until that day however, I am here, a humble manager at an incredibly laid-back store. It's just not so relaxed that we're droolingly stupid. These shenanigans weren't going to abide. No bloody fucking way. I interrupted her progression to the recently vacated booth.
They were efficient little buggers. As my fist rapped on the door, they already had the movie going. Such expeditious urgency would have been commendable were it not for the fact they had not only failed to surrender the surcharge for the room, but had cut in front of a couple that had stopped at the counter to get that very room.
Money changed hands, other patrons were assisted, and I waited possessed of a premonition that there was going to be a second act to the matter of the speedy couple.
To my perverse enjoyment of understanding my own little slice of the universe, I was correct. After spending perhaps fifteen minutes at most viewing their movies, the woman emerged and hustled her companion out of the store with unseemly haste.
Either they had just coated the entire interior of the room with petroleum jelly and hoped to make it to the highway before a cry for vengeance could be roused or she was playing "pit crew."
The door had scarcely closed behind them before she was in with another guy.
Some day I am going to have to find a way to get paid for accurately predicting base actions of humanity. My fortune would become legendary, if not mythic in scope.
Until that day however, I am here, a humble manager at an incredibly laid-back store. It's just not so relaxed that we're droolingly stupid. These shenanigans weren't going to abide. No bloody fucking way. I interrupted her progression to the recently vacated booth.
"But I still have time left."So? You can't be swapping out guys through the arcade. Sure we get women in here that like throwing men in and out of their vaginas like it was a station on an assembly line, but no way are you one of them. You ain't doing this pro bono, and therein lies the problem. Thank you for playing, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.
"Do I need to pay again?"No, you need to get your five-dollar-a-blowjob streetwalker ass off the bloody property before things get decidedly unpleasant for you. No, you need to leave.
"But I still have time left. It's still running."My heart bleeds purple peanut-butter for your pain. Not anymore. Have a good night. Good-bye.
posted by Lanius at 8:17 PM
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