Aim low

Time and time again, people, including customers, staff, and friends, will ask why a given rule or policy has to be enforced with such sang-froid or needs to exist in the first place. The answer, as it is everywhere else in life, is because the lowest common denominator dictates terms.

I almost termed it as the "lowest uncommon denominator" except that the uncommon is usually rare and not repeated. One hopes that whoever is dealing with such an incidence if one arises is both flexible and creative enough to deal with it swiftly and efficiently. These are what I might consider the malicious jokes of the universe. It might be a guy in search of strap-on harness that will affix to the ear canals. Or it might be a multi-fatality highway pile-up caused by a van load of dirty diapers falling out of a service truck. It can't really be predicted, prepared for in detail, nor avoided beforehand. It's luck of the draw. The only question is what you have to fall back on and facility for improvisation.

It was still a closely run determination to not append those unassuming little letters, "un," to "common." In many cases, the issue needing to be addressed lacks the stature to require the full mass of the policy meeting it. Much like an unattended garden hose trickling down the edge of a towering levee, at that time and place, it is ridiculous overkill. Except the area is still a floodplain and in a region prone to flash flooding to boot. It may not happen every day or even every year, but the deluge will happen at some point and there is no point it won't happen again. The policy had better be robust enough to handle it when it does come or things are going to turn ugly real bloody fast. Even so, no rule or policy is perfect. Eventually, something is going to happen that exceeds the scope it can handle and there will be a dirty, painful aftermath to work through.

Why couldn't things be driven by the highest common denominator I hear some of you ask. Simply put, because they aren't a problem. They behave in a responsible, considerate manner. By and large, the rules serve for them as a polite means of clarifying how we expect people to conduct themselves. They usually never have to encounter the penalty or enforcement side of things. Even if they do, it's usually undramatic and short-lived. The policies and guidelines are not drafted for them, they follow them regardless.

No, it's for the guy who wants to rent a dozen movies and bring them back in about a month or so. It's for the chick who wants to sue after throwing her jelly dildo in the microwave for twenty minutes and is upset we won't take it back since it's ruined and/or feels entitled to monetary damages from suffering extensive vaginal burns after using it. It's for the customer who feels justified in denigrating every other sexual opinion other than their own in the middle of my sales floor. It's for the patron who throws lit cigarette buts on other people’s cars or in the trash.

In short, these things have to be in place because there are people who refuse to take responsibility for their actions unless that responsibility is forced upon them. The more they resist shouldering their responsibilities, the less latitude we can afford to give them. Yes, it means that deserving people miss out on the help or flexibility they would otherwise get. It's the price you have to pay for existing in a society.