Throwing rocks at the hornet nest.

Bloody hell, there has got to be a better way to start the day than to endure the self-entitled bitching of some slag. Most of the time, I don't mind the phone calls. Most of them are so simple to handle, I don't even need to devote much mental faculty to address it. True, it can be annoying or one more plate to keep spinning on days where multiple activities are being taken care of, but it's the store phone. It's part and parcel with the job description.

Christ on crutch, even the usual variety of complaints doesn’t tie up the phone line and my attention for more than a couple minutes at most. They ring. I answer. They say [item] is crap. I tell them that's too bad. They make a demand. Provided they're reasonable (total crap-shoot on this one), I see what I can do. Call ends. It's fast and relatively painless. At least for me, which is a huge selling point.

Alas, calls cannot always be concluded expeditiously. Many are those unable to encompass thoughts more complex than what is found on a single page from a preschool reading primer. With the first utterance of "take a left on..." you can hear the hamster-wheel screech to a halt and the faint creak of hemp as the rodent weight settles into the noose. If you're lucky, you'll only have to repeat the directions a half dozen times as they scramble about for some means to transcribe the arcane insights being made manifest.

Or you get a call where a split second after the greeting, the caller goes on the attack. It's as if this personage has somehow concluded that being assertive means attempting to steamroll the other person. In this case, the allegedly wronged woman had long since settled upon a specific resolution all on her little lonesome. I was merely the formality presaging the surrender of money to her hands at a later hour. The existence of a product warranty was irrelevant, as far as she was concerned, if there wasn't before, her purchase bequeathed her one. In addition, if it's in this store, then obviously we honor all warranties real or imagined. Anything short of total capitulation on my part would not be accepted and since she would never quite cross the line into what would justify ending the call on her, it was an interminable experience.

It is not my fault the merchandise in question did not work. It is not my problem if the packaging and/or documentation was lost subsequent to purchase. It is not my job to investigate or qualify product warranties issued by other companies.

Insisting it is just vexes me.

She claims she will be in later to claim her due. Methinks she will be getting far less than she expects and far more than she'd ever wished.