Next time, avoid the spotlight

I was heading homeward the other night from work, already starting to shift mental gears from merchandising rubber genitalia and trying to decide if we needed to order more lesbian DVDs in the next forty-eight hours or if we could get away with pushing our luck for another week, when my vision happened upon a vivid tableau. Caught in the harsh light of my headlights, a woman in a slinky dress was pressed against the side of a car. A man, his face obscured by the side of her neck, was leaned over her with his hand brazenly between her thighs. Two other men stood just beyond them smiling, apparently bantering until their friend was through working his sexual mojo. And then they were in my rear view mirror, fading abruptly back into the night, a handful of seconds burning like a lightning strike to my lizard-brain.

The situation might have caused me some alarm, awoken a suspicion of nefarious deeds perpetrated under cloak of darkness, were it not for a few details. Not only was the street they were situated alongside a bit too busy to escape notice, but they were only a few paces from the entrance of a club and in relatively clear view of the bouncer posted outside. There was no loud music to mask any protest she might have voiced. Lastly, she did not look like she was remotely distressed.

So I spent the remainder of my drive coming up with hypotheses as to why these people would be thrusting their sexuality into the public eye in such a blatant manner. One of the most probable was that all four parties were happily buzzed. Not much of a logical stretch to find inebriated people a short distance from a venue that serves alcohol. From there, it isn't inconceivable that a couple of them got a little carried away.

But who knows, perhaps the couple had a bit of an exhibitionist streak. There are more than a few people out there who get hot about the idea of garnering an audience. Many get a thrill out of risking the authorities taking notice.

My guess is that they were just rude shits without the consideration or class to manage anything more complex than hollow rutting on the edge of a metropolitan sidewalk. The woman perchance believing her main virtue lies with evoking lust in others. The man potentially feeling the need to buttress his ego and machismo in flaunting his trophy slag to prove he's a stud.

Nice to know the porn industry doesn't have the market cornered on plastic and posturing.