Impasse

Whether you deal dildoes, shill shoes, or hawk hutches, there are certain elements that are universal to the world of commerce. Recently, I was exposed to one of the most aggravating; counterfeit currency.

In this case, I was able to intercept two fake twenties. Wasn't able to collect any valuable identifying information on the guy attempting to pass them however. Move. Countermove. Stalemate.

My store suffered no loss and the bills are out of circulation, so perhaps I came out slightly ahead in the final tally. I can live with that.

At the same time, it's sad that I have to be that alert every time with every bill. The penalty is rather severe for the forger, but the odds of the gamble make it very attractive. Even if the fakes are intercepted, it's difficult to make charges stick. In many cases, the clerk will fail to even be able to provide much of a description to the authorities. If the bill is accepted as payment, there's scant hope that there will even be that much.

Gods have mercy on those who accept fake cash for they are not only out the cost of the merchandise, but the value of the change they probably had to hand back. There is no compensation allowed by law for counterfeit currency and knowingly passing it on is a federal offense.

So all in all, the boss is happy and all is well within this libidinous demesne.

I can still wish I was able to summarily brand the word "fraud" across the visage of the craven by-blow who dared to test my alertness.