Failed fishing trip

*Ring Ring*

Thank you for calling Lanius' Lair of Lechery.

"Are you guys open today?"

Yes, we are. Despite my reflex desire to spit back, "No fuck-wad, this is just a very sophisticated answering machine, please leave a message at the sound of the dial tone," I managed to swallow my sarcasm. It was a fair question, today is a holiday and it would not be too improbable that we might have chosen to conduct in-store business under cover of being closed for Memorial Day. Mustn't let my distemper dampen someone's day simply for asking a question that happens to trigger me.

"Do you have next month's issue of [preferred wank material]?"

Unfortunately, next month's issue has not arrived yet. Ho hum. Insert yawn here.

"Is anyone in the arcade right now? Ya know, hangin' out?"

I do believe the arcade is in use, yes. Something in the guy's tone sets my mental antennae to twitching. No way is this as casually innocent as he's attempting. He's aiming for a boundary.

"What do they look like?"

Bingo! I knew it. I decide to eschew less direct phrasing to stop him dead in his tracks immediately. I am not going to provide names or descriptions of any patron of this store.

*Click*

I will be damned if I'm going to troll the store for some idiot on the phone wanting to set up a sure thing without exerting any effort. That torques me in a multitude of levels, even if I was willing to surrender the privacy of my customers, which I'm not.

Execrable phone manners too.