Why are the only things "adult" here on the shelves or earning a paycheque?
Kali's crimson nipples, people are whiny. When did it become socially acceptable for adults to snivel? This goes beyond simple complaints. We are talking petulant tones, long suffering sighs, and even on occasion the fabled foot stomp.
Wah! I won't drop the price by five bucks so I can be your ultra-supercool-bestest-sales clerk with sprinkles. I'm not here to be your friend or win popularity contests. I'm here to trade you condoms and porn movies for specific amounts of cash. If you want it, you pay the listed price. You think it's too much, you're free to look elsewhere. Either way, your sophomoric sycophantery makes me retch.
Wah! I won't sell items at the wholesale cost you remember from twenty years ago. Setting aside the immense probability you're spouting the biggest load of shit ever seen outside of a fertilizer company, that was a long time ago. Getting all blotchy in the face and wheezing "Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?" at me is only making me contemplate sloshing a cup of water in your face like I would any other spoiled brat throwing a tantrum.
Wah! I don't have the exact title you decided you really wanted off the list you handed me that had me searching for over twenty minutes. It was presumptuous enough to have created such a long list. I extended you the courtesy of performing the search. It is not my fault that of the dozen I found for you, the only one you actually wanted wasn't here. Suck it up. From where I stand, you just wasted my time on a lie.
Wah! The purple dong you wanted is half a shade off your very favorite. You want a fucking custom shade? Make it your damn self. What's available is what's available. Whining at me is not going to provide me with some magic rainbow wand of sex toy color change.
Wah! The toy doesn't come with batteries. Christ on a crutch! This is NOT a new marketing development. No little gnomes plundered the alkalines out of your vibrator. I did not rain your parade, do not attempt to rain on mine.
Wah! You have to wait in line because there are other people already waiting to be rung up. I know you think the universe revolves around you, but you're going to pipe down, shut your gob-hole, and wait your bloody turn.
Wah! We're booting you out to close for the night before you've managed to find something to buy even though you've only been looking for an hour and have been informed that closing time was approaching. Your indecision is not my problem. If you squandered your opportunities for help, that's your fault. Get out. I can't believe they let you out after curfew.
How horribly unfair. Perhaps if you hold your breath, the mean man behind the counter will relent and give you a gummi pussy pop.
It's impossible to treat anyone behaving like a super-sized toddler with anything resembling respect. But I'll be damned if they don't launch into some nasal pity-party because no one treats them as the precious snowflake their inbred cow of a mother told them they were.
2 Comments:
Wooow. I do not miss customer service.
OMG, i think i seriously have to have a gummi pussy pop. im going to google it now
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