BYOB

Bring your own blower.

In the somewhat recent past, my store experienced a bit of a renewed popularity on the heels of an article published about glory holes. Although much of the results have been salutary and pleasant, it has also cast into sharp relief that some people are absolutely, without a shred of doubt, dumber than a bag of hammered hair.

The calls have trickled in. Some guys have wanted to know exactly how a glory hole operates since the explanation of poking one's genitals through the hole for sexual congress with some stranger on the other side was a mite nebulous for their ken. Strong probability these calls were motivated because it gets their jollies off talking about it, though.

And then there are the calls wanting to know when the girls will be in. In the parlance of the day, "Dude, What?!" This is not a store sponsored activity, guys. If there are women on the other side of the glory holes, it has nothing to do with me or the store as an entity. We try to make it comfy and inviting to visit, but that's about it.

On a related note, there are the calls wanting to know how you know if it's a guy or girl on the other side of the hole. Which is just damned stupid. If you've decided that getting an anonymous blow-job through a wall is spot on for a bit of fun, then you're just going to have to not worry about the gender of the mouth involved. Unless they've got that ZZ Top thing going, the other person could be whoever the fuck you want them to be.

It's also bloody aggravating to have guys expecting me to tell them exactly how to get in contact with the people they want to meet up with. Do your own godsdamned research you mollusk. The last thing I have the time or inclination to do over the phone is provide every fucking URL in the city which might touch upon glory hole enthusiasts.

I swear, there is a burgeoning population that seems to expect to have everything handed to them with a minimum of effort, minimal cost, and no risk. It would also help if any of them would ever bother to read, but that would be doing for themselves. Silly me.