But you're the exception

Lately, it has seemed that various people of my acquaintance, in the flesh and online, have set their sights on someone in an ostensibly serious monogamous relationship.

Of course, they'll rapidly admit or volunteer that it's wrong. Doesn't stop them for a second from continuing the illicit romance though. Splendid! They have just announced to all and sundry that they don't give the slightest wisp of a fuck about anything besides themselves. It's as if they feel that simply saying it's wrong or they're sorry obviates their transgression. Sure. And some guy pumping rounds into a hospital post-op ward only deserves our understanding and sympathy as long as he apologizes between each shot and admits he's misbehaving.

Oh, but how can I compare a spree killing to an affair? After all, no one is actually dying or getting hurt in an affair. Not really. Except that one of the most popular motives for murder is revenge on a cheating spouse. Except that one is attempting to quantify pain, as if the only measure of damage is in volumes of spilled blood.

Not to mention that with every repeated continuation of the affair, it sets the price of personal integrity and honor ever lower. Where is the value of given word if one is actively abetting the breach of that trust?

In each and every case, the number of excuses and mitigating details are legion. They're going to leave their significant other. They truly love them. They can't help it. They will make it work.

Damn near every cheater tells their lover they're going to leave the one they're with to be with them. EVERY cheater is fucking liar! It doesn't matter it's such a stereotypical line, people keep buying it. They don't want to disbelieve it, because to question is to question the entire forbidden relationship. It salves the soul to think they are saving the other person from a hellish existence. It feels so addictively good to feel like they are the one bright spot in the other's life.

Want to know another big secret? It doesn't matter how much deeply in love you are. Love is NOT an excuse. If love is leading you to do despicable things, you need to suck it up and stop doing them. One's feelings are immaterial. Adults are held responsible for how they choose to act on their emotions. For instance take a hypothetical stalker. I don't care how tormented and overwhelming his love for his idol is; if he skins her, wears her like a costume, and glazes the rest with blood and semen then he's made a fucking choice to act in that manner. Loving someone does not give carte blanche to sunder any and all vows and responsibilities they may hold.

Protesting they just can't help it is a cowardly excuse. Did masked men burst into their house to coerce them at gunpoint to commence an affair? Was a computer chip installed in their brain to render them into organic puppets? It's bullshit. It's a choice. They just don't want to make the effort.

But of course, this time it's meant to be. They'll make this work. Obviously it'll be a snap to have a healthy, respectful relationship with the other person. After all, they were so gung-ho to keep their prior agreements. They'd never lie to them. This time they mean it. They're individuals of sterling quality.

And there's a special level of contempt for those who meet the cheated on significant other and lie to their fucking faces. Those who would express friendship and consideration in their company only to spit on that trust and respect in private are the most craven breed of liars.

Oh and I shouldn't have to say this, but I will; none of this is specifically targeted at any specific person. If you happen to read this and feel targeted, perhaps you need to look to your own actions. Knock off the treacherous self delusion or make peace with being a waste of resources.