A pox upon thee!

And so the tale of Irina shall be told this day.

It was a night, much like any other when I came in to start my shift. The store was quiet, no immediate problems had been simmering until they could be dumped into my lap as a "welcome to work" present.

At the same time, I had noticed a man standing outside of the restroom door. It was quite clear he was waiting for whoever was within. Alright, no big deal. However, as the minutes accumulated, a hinky feeling began to take root in me. Every now and again, he would knock on the door and ask questions of the person inside. I couldn't hear a reply, if there had been any, but it's never a good sign when someone is barricaded in our restroom for over fifteen minutes. It was perhaps a handful of minutes after I politely inquired if there was a problem that the man vacated the premises, ostensibly abandoning his companion. It just didn't seem plausible he'd been holding it and left to take his chances finding another restroom.

Enter, Irina. She was young, a bottle-blonde with robust roots. She muttered to me in accented soft tones, asking if he'd left and declaring him an "asshole". I nodded in pseudo-empathy fully expecting her to make her way to the exit. Alas such was not to be, this story is just beginning.

She swanned through the toy section, examining and commenting, possibly for my dubious benefit, on what she thought. Once her review was completed, she moved to the movies. My attention never strayed far from her and thus I grew nettled as her browsing of our movies generated increasing disorder.

I was partially mollified when Irina approached me with a box in hand and informed me she was going to purchase it and would I hold onto it while she continued shopping. Sure thing, I'm very much inclined to parting people from as much cash as they possess.

From this point, she began inquiring after various genres. I directed her to the various movie types she desired. Irina spent a few moments perusing the shelves.

This culminated with her moving to our sale section, which she very quietly started to turn into an utter shambles. Unfortunately, she was so nondescript in her dismantling of the orderly ranks that it failed to properly register until she'd moved enough to give me a full unobstructed view.

When I approached, she answered my disapproving glower with a giggled "sorry" which immediately throttled my ire to molten levels. So I set to putting things right. She tittered one more sorry craven lie and sashayed out the door without spending a bloody cent.

Beautifully executed application to be added to the store exclusion list. Approved.