Repaying hospitality with property damage

An ice storm had swept over the city with unexpected fury. The streets were slick with snow and ice. The air was sharp; the wind drove little needles of pain into exposed skin. I hadn't been home since the day before and with the conditions they way they were, I wouldn't be making it that day either.

For all that this winter storm had scoured the streets of the usual activity and shut down most of the businesses, I was rather content. Not only do I have an appreciation for snowy conditions, but I'd been in the company of a decidedly friendly woman. Jack Frost might have been waiting to nip at my nose, but Audrey's lips were preemptively kissing any flesh that might be in jeopardy, and quite a bit that wasn't so defenseless to the elements. Suffice to say, I was in quite a chipper mood.

It didn't take too long cloistered up with her housemates to feel decidedly stir-crazy. Thus, a call to a friend was placed and his gracious offer of food and less crowded crash space gave rise to a determination to embark upon an adventure; to navigate the slick, treacherous roads across town for more convivial lodgings. Hey, I was fucking young and impetuous, not to mention that when you have close to a dozen people sharing the same modest house, it can get a bit overwhelming regardless of how well everyone gets along.

The drive was actually rather uneventful given what could have transpired. I did not careen off any cars or trucks, parked or not. If I did skid, it was too mild and brief to survive in memory. As it was, we were all rather amused at how quickly I managed to make the trip. It was still bad enough that I wasn't about to try driving in it again unless and until the streets improved.

My friend turned out copious amounts of food and drink which were consumed in an unholy spree of horrid movie viewing. When eventually the amatory behavior between Audrey and I got a bit too carried away, Larry suggested we might wish to borrow his bedroom for a bit.

He might have been speaking sarcastically, chiding us for being a bit rude. On the other hand, it could have been a sincere offer. I interpreted it as the latter. I was beyond ready to tear into Audrey. Once the door closed, we wasted no time and had at each other with gusto.

Enthusiasm is generally a good thing. Sadly, it was to be my undoing this day; we broke Larry's bed. Completely snapped the support rails off at the headboard. I still can't decide which was more spectacular at the time, the unmistakable sound of shearing metal and splintering wood replacing the creak of mattress springs or the way her orgasm notched up with her scream and impact of the mattress hitting the floor.

I have no idea how long we lay there in shock processing what had just happened. It can't have been that long since Larry didn't intrude upon the lurid tableau. We got dressed and sheepishly reappeared in his living room. My face was reputedly a fiery shade of crimson while I stammered out that I seemed to have broken his bed and that I was very very sorry.

Ah, if I only knew how sorry I was going to be. Even today, years later, when we cross paths he will sometimes trot out that little story in much the same way as one would pull a treasured artifact out of storage, blowing away the dust and presenting it with a little flourish for display. It can still serve to fluster me when impeccably timed.

What did I learn from this mishap? If you're bound and determined to do some slam-fucking at a friend's house, don't do it on anything more breakable than your partner.