Damn it, I want results!
People are way too bloody preoccupied with results. At least, they seem to be here in the good ol' Ewe-Ess-uv-Ay. I can't say anything about other countries since I have not socketed myself into another cultural fabric. Given that fabric is hard to fit with sockets, this is probably for the best.
Be that as it may, people here are rabidly looking for the absolute guarantee. If some guy buys a full-size pick-up truck, then by god, he'd better be able to tow a damned aircraft carrier up a sixteen degree grade in a blizzard. If some woman buys a tube of toothpaste, then it had better taste like candy and leave her teeth forever impervious to plaque.
Here, it means that I get deluged with customer questions about which of our products are the best. What condom is the best? What enhancing pill is the best? What lube is the best? What dildo is the best? Ad nauseam. I've ranted about stupid questions before. I shall probably rant about them in the future as well. Sadly, they're just symptoms of this "I want the perfect item at the perfect price" rot pervading society.
I'm pissed off mightily.
There are no bloody guarantees in an adult store. Not one of these movies upon my shelves, nor have ever been shot, nor shall ever be shot, is certain to arouse you. The odds are excellent that something will, no matter how refined your tastes, but it will never be assured. If you take a tour of the toy area, there is not one warranty on any of them from the simplest nipple clamp to the most high-tech vibrator. Hell, they're marketed specifically to be unwarrantable. You can't bring something back because it didn't give you an orgasm.
And yet, that is what people want; the sure thing. This entitlement drek just raises my hackles.
posted by Lanius at 8:39 PM
6 Comments:
I know what you mean. That entitled quality is so ugly in people. by the way what is the best tool to buy for getting multiple orgasms? I need a sure thing. And what is your return policy?
Here is what you can say,"I guarantee you will enjoy it, or you won't. I guarantee that you can try to bring it back if you don't like it, but I will not accept any returns. Those are my guarantees." :)
I'd tell them to take up their non-arousal problems up with Ralph Nader.
-Wombat
There are no guarantees in life. Why should a porn store be any different? I believe the orgasm lies in head of the beholder; everything else is just an aid.
Anon - Oddly enough, many will play it like that too.
Blue - That would work, except people have a persistent habit of only hearing the parts they want to hear. "I guarantee you will enjoy it, blah blah blah. I guarantee that you can blah blah bring it back if you don't like it, blah blah blah. Those are my guarantees." You would not believe how unpleasant this can make work.
Wom - Alas, a great many would take that at face value. Unfortunately, I just know it would actually spark some ill-conceived crusade that would only make it worse.
Chris - Indeed there are not, except for death.
Yes, I see the problem.
Have you received my email? I sent one Friday, but wonder if it wasn't dumped as spam!
-Wombat
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