But what if it's the wrong size?

Weird things happen when you get close to the holidays in a place like this. Weirder than usual at any rate.

One will always encounter the unblemished gems of humanity who will enter an adult store purely to purchase items with which to mock, humiliate or otherwise discomfit another under the pretext of a gag gift. It is truly unfortunate these trolls believe themselves possessed of wit and humor. Oh well, their money spends as well as anyone else's not utilizing counterfeit bills and the items they tend to gravitate toward are the ones with a more white-trash motif to their packaging.

But instead, I will interact with people who want gift receipts for merchandise. I could, in theory, understand how it might make sense for movies. For instance, someone could purchase a movie that their friend already owned. Or perhaps they misheard the name of the performer and got someone that sounded similar but wasn't of interest to the recipient. However, there is no way to extend that type of service for such items as condoms, lubricants, or toys. And thus, we just unilaterally do not offer gift receipts. Keeps it all nice and tidy.

Nonetheless, I still find myself having to explain to people why I am unable to leave their purchase of a Doc Johnson Raging Hard-on Manhandler open to exchange. Of course they can understand the reasons why the store would not want to take back sex toys. Of course, they should be the exception, since they wouldn't think to ever bring back something that had been used. They wouldn't even open the package. They promise.

Alas, I am still an unreasoning oaf when I refuse their entreaties. After all, people are infallibly trustworthy, especially when they inform you of their personal integrity in the hopes of getting something they want. Never mind how long the item will be out of my sight and control.
Believe it or not, I am not jesting when I include condoms and lubricants in the list. People have attempted those items as well. I'm confident there shall be more as the deadline approaches.