There are limits.

There are very definite limits folks.

I don't care if I do happen to sell vibrators. This does not mean I desire to spend my next five to twenty minutes on the phone with you discussing the best way to use a particular vibe. You should be asking the one you're using it on for their opinion. I am not going to suggest ways to reverse-engineer or modify it. I am not particularly interested in hearing about how you've tinkered with it.

Just because I sell butt-plugs, it does not mean you can come into my store complaining about it getting "lost". Fuck no, I will not be trying to remove it from your anus. Go to the bloody emergency room. Your embarrassment ceased to be my concern the moment you shared this bit of traumatic trivia with me.

Just because I sell adult videos, it does not automatically confer upon me mystical powers to call into existence the exact perfect movie you happen to be looking for. I try to keep a working knowledge of what is out there, especially those titles in our store, but I do NOT know every damned movie that has ever been shot or has just hit production.

The store has a phone line for business purposes. It is not there for you to attempt to gain free sexual advice. If you're looking for a particular item, perhaps I can help, but I will not play therapist to solve your dysfunctions.

I do not work for the other adult stores in this city. I have neither say nor awareness regarding their policies. If you have a problem with someone at another store, bitching to me about it does you no good. In fact, you will have just crafted a brand new problem; with me. Likewise, I do not work for any other of the surrounding businesses. You cannot order a pizza, taxi, or book a hotel room through me.

I wish I could tell you, my readers, that I have embroidered the above whole-cloth from my disturbed imagination. Lying however does not serve us any purpose.