For what it's worth.

Late in the wee morning hours, I thought it would behoove the world at large to draft up a modest little list in the hopes of improving sexual lives.

• If you happen to be getting laid on a regular basis, do not complain to your lover that they're not doing right. Unless of course, you no longer desire to be getting laid on a regular basis.
• If it looks like you might be getting sex in the very near future, do not assume you can rest on your laurels. Nothing says your potential lover will not change their mind.
• Never take sex with a particular person for granted. I don't care if you've been with them for years. Make the assumption their body is at your disposal at whim and you'll find out in short order how wrong you are. (YMMV with a live-in master/slave relationship.)
• Guys, if they let you stick it in their mouth, be fucking honored. They aren't doing it for their own benefit. If you weren't blissing on it, they wouldn't be doing it.
  
• Guys, if they let you orgasm into their mouth, be overjoyed with that. If you dare bitch about what they do with it after, they'd be well in their rights to tie your testes into bowline. Spit, swallow, gargle, blow bubbles; you're ahead of the game. Don't get petulant because the free Ferrari isn't your favorite color.
• Guys, if they let you stick it in their arse, you better be appreciative. Remember, your lover's person is a privilege not a right.
• Gals, if they spend long periods of time trying to make your toes curl, enjoy the fact they're so into you. They could very easily just be in it to get their own rocks off. When your enjoyment matters to them, it's better for you both.
  

In short people, be thankful for the person you get to fuck.