Working girls just doesn't work.

Any adult store that has an arcade area is going to have to deal with "working girls". They often cast themselves in the role of headache for me. If it's not a drunk, stoned, or otherwise squirrelly individual, odds are excellent that it's a prostitute complicating the smooth functioning of my work day.

This is highly unnecessary. It isn't as if I or any of my hapless minions interrogate those who enter the store. Unless and until demonstrated otherwise, we assume people who come in the door are here as customers. In theory, if someone played it really mellow there would be no reason for us to suspect they were anything beyond a regular.

But no. They have to call attention to themselves.

They will flag down cars in the parking lot. I just love seeing some lady out in our lot talking through someone's driver side window. Suffice to say, we do not let them attempt that more than once. It's easy. They're not allowed back on the premises after trying that one.

They will try to hustle for cash in the arcade. It's obvious, it's stupid, and it's horrendously tacky. Even if it wasn't illegal, I'd be shuffling them out the door with a "do not return" sticker over their nose and mouth for the sheer tastelessness.

They will have loud, messy emotional outbursts about how their life is so hard and no one gives them an even break, etc. I honestly couldn't give a shriveled field vole about them. Far as I'm concerned, they had the same expectations and chances of anyone else coming in the store and they fucked it up. They earned their consequences.

The personally most horrific is when they will proceed to tell me all about how they're in a half-way house or drug-free or about the last time some guy pounded the living shit of them and took their money or any of a half dozen equally squalid degrading things that I really didn't sign on to hear about. I am not a therapist. I am not a friend. I am just a guy wondering how many times I would have to club them before they will go away while smiling professionally.

Too bad they lack the mental fortitude to hold down a more challenging job like a lemonade stand or paper route.