Parental blights.

Why do some people insist on trying to bring their toddlers or infants into my store? I would think it would be very clearly contraindicated given the name and nature of the business. With the relative consistency of people that attempt this feat, I must have unrealistic expectations of self-awareness. Or perhaps they need to resort some arcane form of augury or metaphysics to understand why taking your tyke for a turn around a porn store is just not done.

I don't care if the little crotch-dropping is has only just discovered it has toes. It doesn't matter that the sprog isn't able to understand much more than bright colors. That is really not the point.

The crux of this issue is that it is expressly verboten to have a minor on the premises.

The law will not make a distinction as to mental acuity in a child. On my part, that opens me and the store up to fines or other legal censure. I don't know about you, but I've got better things to do than go to jail.

The worst consequences are reserved for the parents who can't wait to do their adult shopping for when they don't have children to watch. Should the authorities want to, and with today's social climate they may not have a choice, they can level some serious sexual abuse charges. You really don't want to get yourself caught up in that.

Besides, who is really going to be all that comfortable picking out a dildo while some toddler is staring at them and smearing sodden cheerios into their gob?

In short, there is no place here for anyone under the age of majority. Don't do it. And do not argue when I justly boot your self-entitled butt out the door for creating a hassle for everyone.