Change is inevitable.

Had a lovely little variation on the "would you give me change for a large bill" gambit. Don't get misunderstand me, that particular request exceedingly popular to this day. However, this guy was a first for me. Let's just hope it's also a last. I doubt it since idiots seem to be infinitely inventive in their approach.

Anyway, this bozo throws two rolls of Susan B Anthony silver dollars on my counter and asks for single dollar bills.

Like howling, sodden Hell! I am not going to bust out fifty gawdammed bucks in change. I'll be damned if I'm going to flood my drawer with that much coin. I thought I was doing quite well to tell him I couldn't accept that much coin.

"OK, how about one roll?"

Hmmmm. I think I'll have to go with FUCK NO once again. I apologize but I can't accept that much coin.

"It's money."

That's true. However, I don't have to accept it on demand. I still can't take it.

"Look, they're untouched from the bank."

They're lovely really. I mean that. Perhaps you should have gotten actual cash instead of rolls of rarely used coins. Can't do it.

"What if I purchased something? Would you take them then?"

Yes. Yes I would, but I would not be very happy about it.

Whereupon he turns around and promptly breaks one of his rolls of dollar coins against the other and spends a few minutes rounding up scattered coins.

He didn't wind up buying anything, but I can't find it in myself to mourn the alleged loss.