If you can't lick the problem, give it a good fondling.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that we carry flavored lubes. I have working knowledge about several brands and there are so many flavors on the market, it would make a popular ice-cream chain feel like it only stocks chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. Personally, I tend to enjoy discovering the newest taste craze.

Sometimes they'll sound novel such as vanilla-caramel sundae. Some strike me as better on the drawing board than in general use, such as coffee. Some just make me shake my head in disbelief, such as jalapeno flavor.

But more often I am mystified by the people who buy the lube. Or at least a certain percentage of them. On a variety of occasions over the years a man and woman will want to buy some flavored lube.

Alright, this totally jives with the way the universe works. So far, so good. However, the female will be the one spending several minutes selecting a particular flavor. Most of the time, if she is attempting to solicit an opinion from her companion, they have none.

I can only surmise as to why this is.

1. Her companion is a cretinous moron and is unable to differentiate flavors at all. To which, there is no reason to buy a flavored lube. It's like taking a deaf person to a symphony in a vacuum.
2. Her companion will sample any flavor. Thus, it is only vanity guiding the flavor choice. Which honestly is a perfectly valid reason.
3. She is buying it to use on him. Therefore, he has no preference because he's not going to be sampling. There are better products on the market to add zip to fellatio. Most of the flavored lubes are indeed lubricants first and foremost. Unless someone has a serious case of dry-mouth, saliva generally gets things slick enough. If they're giving a hand-job, there are no taste-buds in the hand. Less chemical, though slightly less viscous, options would not hinder if they take the occasional lick. (I can think of other variants on the her using on him, but those tend to fall into the "Good show, carry on." category.)
4. It's one of her "special" questions on par with, "Do these pants make my ass look fat?" In this case, if she's going to set him/herself up with a vehicle to imply she tastes/smells distasteful, he needs to run to the hills as fast as possible. She's going to have sexual issues aplenty to sort through before she's ready to work with a partner.

Sometimes these types of puzzles just float up in the course of a day. Trends or patterns that suddenly snap into focus after months or even years.

That or I really need to switch to decaf.