By all accounts.

Picture if you will a vaguely familiar customer approaching the counter. Without a word, they set a couple movie boxes down.

Or perhaps this person provides you with one small kernel of information. "Rent please."

I'd love to know where in my job description telepathy is listed. I'd then like to find the joker that slipped that in and give them the merciless beating they so roundly deserve. Even if I did have the ability, this is not a place I'd want to be able to see into the minds of the patrons. I don't need to gain that personal understanding of why the stuffed animal aisle of toy stores makes some people almost cream their pants. And that's just the tip of the "viceberg".

Most of the time, without any information accompanying the movie boxes, I default to selling them to the patron. There've been a few times where someone was cranky to find out after I'd taken the money and handed them their bag that they were the proud new owner of the porn. They find the "all sales are final" clause most vexing when that happens. Of course, I do attempt to verify their intention, but sometimes they just nod to my voice without listening.

The rental side of things frequently brings to the fore my snarky bastardness. On more than one occasion, I have stood quietly poised in front of the computer for several minutes waiting for them to provide me with the information I need to look them up. It's great when it's not the first time I've watched them with polite disinterest to let me finish the transaction.

I request a name and they give me their first name. Yeah, because everything in this society is filed by first name. So I blink and say I can't do anything with that one. I need a surname.

The sweet, decadent cherry atop this sundae of clarity is that the ones that do give me their first name first do it every bloody time they come in when I ask. I am not talking twice or so. No, I am talking about half a dozen times in the course of their rental account at the least.

I'm considering keeping a squirt bottle of water behind the counter as a training tool. A cattle-prod should suffice for the slower learners.