I guess those boys at the county seat were right about gas fumes and brain damage. Tell yer momma I'm awful sorry.

"Do you have any see-gars?"

Um no, no we don't. You see, we are an adult store. We may carry some smoking supplies, but stocking something like cigars exceeds our scope as a store. I suggest you go to a tobacconist shop.

"Do you have any good movies?"

What sort of inane question is that?! We have literally thousands of movies on the shelves. It's virtually insane to think that none of them would qualify as being "good" in someone's opinion. And what the fuck answer can you honestly expect directing a question like that to the guy behind the counter?! What? I'm going to say we don't, that they all suck? So I get to field a totally insipid question for no reason. If I don't respond, it's a snub. If I do respond, it serves no purpose other than feed into an exchange that yields no informational progress. It's like asking, "Had any good oxygen lately?"

Oh but the capper for this guy was when he asked if we carried any of the movies out of a particular series. If he was to be believed, this squirter series was the Holy Grail, the highest achievement humankind could ever achieve in the production of adult video. Indeed, he repeated in boisterous and mocking tones, "You don't have them." As if that was the death knell for us as legitimate. As if he was triumphantly resting his case.

He's lucky I actually possess self-restraint. My contempt waxes high tonight.