Stereotype to statistic in one simple step

I was working a late shift the other night when central casting deposited "Generic Flamingly Gay Boy; SoCal edition 1 & 2" at my doorstep. Normally if I'm going to apply a broad archetype to someone I encounter, it's more or less a superficial classification on par with noting color of hair or shirt, it's just enough to distinguish them from the other humans in proximity. This however was so surreal it needed a skinny dude in a dark suit smoking a cigarette and narrating to some hidden camera. It was all there from the frosted hair to short shorts to mincing walks to lisps. Sweet Shaved Shiva's Spandex Sutras! A splinter of my psyche wondered if a "Tom's of Finland" leatherman kick-line was queuing up outside my door for the big finale.

But it was alright. Things like this will happen from time to time working with the public and beyond the amazement factor of getting dealt a queer royal flush in five card stereotype stud, it was irrelevant to doing business.

Then things took a sharp turn into the land of fantastically stupid ideas.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is never and will never be appropriate to suddenly bring your clasped hands up in what would be loosely called a "Weaver stance" and tell the guy behind the counter, "This is a hold-up."

Armed robbery is a very real concern for retail stores. We are not going to assume the speaker is not sincere in what they are saying. We can't afford to. Making a bad guy feel he has to make a point they're serious is a Very Bad Thing.

They were quick to say they were only joking, but what if they'd decided to make that "joke" in the hearing of someone with a concealed handgun who couldn't see their hands were empty? Either someone is going to have to change their pants or someone is going to need a trip in an ambulance, regardless it will involve police reports. Talk about your hilarious knee-slapper of a jest hunh.

Don't walk into an airport and make jokes about crashing planes or bombs. Don't walk into a police station and talk about executing officers. Don't walk into a preschool and make pedophile jokes. And don't walk into a bank or business and make robbery jokes.

I told them that was an incredibly stupid thing to do, but I think full comprehension was beyond their ken. Oh well, if they keep it up, they'll find out just how painful stupidity can be.