Suspicion

Sometimes it really doesn't pay to have both a very active imagination and rampant distrust of one's fellow man.

Had a guy come in and buy out entire floor stock of unlubricated condoms.

Sure. Perhaps he was stocking up for a Caligula-cotillion with an impressive lube buffet complete with hot and cold running decontamination shower.

However, I feel a bit "mulish" on the subject, especially when he paid by peeling twenties off a fat bundle.

Here's hoping for a nasty case of acid reflux.