Keep your nose out of it

Almost immediately upon logging onto the computer today, I discovered a message from a friend who simply had to share a link with me. Ah Jezebel, once again I find my awareness expanding from your influence. Much like a knot forming on the back of the skull from getting koshed in this case.

"When your man keeps coming home at 5am, and you don't believe a word he says about his whereabouts, snooping through his email and reading his texts aren't always the most reliable methods of figuring out where he's been. Sometimes you just gotta smell his dick!"

The whole page as well as embedded video can be found here.

Hell fucking no. Nein! Nyet!

I don't know about the rest of the world, but I find that more than a bit creepy. It would be one thing if sniffing crotches happened to be a particular fetish, it's an aspect of their sexuality you either accept or reject, but Sweet shivering Shiva on a sybian, it's an entirely different matter when used to confirm alibi.

I don't care if it would be a quick and essentially easy way to determine if the quill has been investigating new inkwells, some woman demanding I drop my drawers so she can waft my willy because she's by god going to see if I've been dallying on the side is definitely crossing a line that shall not be crossed. What's the next step, a hidden camera in the bathroom to verify no one is diddling themselves in the shower or drinking out of the toilet bowl?! How about soaking their used underwear in distilled water and then spinning the solution down to make sure only the acceptable DNA sources are present?!

You either trust someone or you don't. This chick is breaking new ground in the obsessive psycho girlfriend department. First she wants to sniff the schlong when she's insecure, next she's merrily boiling bunny rabbits to crucify on the front door.