More fun with phones.
*Ring Ring*
Hello. Thank you for calling Lanius' Lair of Lechery.
*A loud, distorted voice issues forth from the phone receiver, heavy background white noise*
Excuse me?
*Click*
Perhaps a bad connection. Not the right background for a cell phone on the street or in a car. My immediate suspicion is I was on speaker. Dollars to donuts, they'll call back soon.
Three minutes later...
*Ring Ring* Damn, I'm good. I definitely detect the odor of rodentia. Just a bit too long for a call-back if it was simply a bad connection. Just about right to adjust a speaker phone though.
Hello. Thank you for calling Lanius' Lair of Lechery.
*Less distorted, less loud.* "Uh, hello. Is this Lanius' Lair of Lechery?"
Yes indeed. No one listens anymore.
"Do you have a rubber fist?"
Classic. This guy is a fuck-wit. But just in case he's abysmally inept and embarrassed at asking for a more esoteric toy, I persist. Unfortunately, we currently do not have any fists in stock.
"Do you have a rubber asshole?"
Are you fucking kidding me?! How in the bloody fondant-filled hells is that a legitimate question in any way? You've just proved yourself a moron, Skippy. Let's see how quick you can think on your feet. In what form?
"In what form?" I can hear the rusty gears starting to grind. His mental script didn't cover this possibility. "Um, like a man's?"
Wow, that's damned meaningless. I'm less than inclined to carry on with this prank call of the pithed. You have ceased to amuse me, return to your Petri dish forthwith.
*Click*
Hello. Thank you for calling Lanius' Lair of Lechery.
*A loud, distorted voice issues forth from the phone receiver, heavy background white noise*
Excuse me?
*Click*
Perhaps a bad connection. Not the right background for a cell phone on the street or in a car. My immediate suspicion is I was on speaker. Dollars to donuts, they'll call back soon.
Three minutes later...
*Ring Ring* Damn, I'm good. I definitely detect the odor of rodentia. Just a bit too long for a call-back if it was simply a bad connection. Just about right to adjust a speaker phone though.
Hello. Thank you for calling Lanius' Lair of Lechery.
*Less distorted, less loud.* "Uh, hello. Is this Lanius' Lair of Lechery?"
Yes indeed. No one listens anymore.
"Do you have a rubber fist?"
Classic. This guy is a fuck-wit. But just in case he's abysmally inept and embarrassed at asking for a more esoteric toy, I persist. Unfortunately, we currently do not have any fists in stock.
"Do you have a rubber asshole?"
Are you fucking kidding me?! How in the bloody fondant-filled hells is that a legitimate question in any way? You've just proved yourself a moron, Skippy. Let's see how quick you can think on your feet. In what form?
"In what form?" I can hear the rusty gears starting to grind. His mental script didn't cover this possibility. "Um, like a man's?"
Wow, that's damned meaningless. I'm less than inclined to carry on with this prank call of the pithed. You have ceased to amuse me, return to your Petri dish forthwith.
*Click*
posted by Lanius at 10:03 PM
3 Comments:
haha... honestly, people still prank call?
Good for you for sending them the fly ball.
Children posing as adults, I swear.
DC - You wouldn't believe how many people still persist at placing prank calls. Caller ID not withstanding. But boy are they surprised when they get a call back if they grew too bold.
Post a Comment
<< Home