Arcade daze.

OK, let me break this down. The store does allow people to preview movies. We charge a small amount to set up the movie and the booth itself requires a few bucks in exchange for an hour of watching. This information is displayed on a stylishly lit sign.

Nonetheless, it appears to be complex to the average consumer. Perhaps it’s some form of trigonometry involving a penis given how many times the staff here has to explain the process.

“Do you have previews?”

Yes, we do previews.

“So I can watch movies out here?” Gestures to the shelves.

That would be what a preview is, yes.

“How much?”

I quote the price, then the break-down of what money is going where and for how long.

“Per hour?”

Yes.

“What if the movie isn’t over in an hour?”

Then you’d have to pay for an additional hour.

“What if I don’t need the whole second hour?”

The arcade only operates the previews in one hour blocks. No more, no less. So you either need to make sure you’re done in the first hour or eat the unused portion of the second hour.

An hour later, they emerge. “My movie isn’t over but the screen shut off and it’s telling me to add more money.”

That would be because your time has expired.

“Can you turn it back on?”

No, you need to put more money in for more time.

“Can I put in a couple bucks for just a few minutes longer?”

No sir, you need to put in the full amount displayed.

“This is bull-shit.”

There’s only so many times you can have such a dialogue with people before the novelty subsides and you begin to itch for a handgun.

Oh. Why do we happen to charge to set the previews up? Do you have any idea the sheer hell some tweaker will put you through simply by watching a movie for a couple minutes before wanting a new one? Prairie dogs are less compulsive about popping out of their burrows than these guys. After the fifth or six movie, the damage to the order of the shelves and shuffling of DVDs gets tiresome. Usually, these same people will time their previewing to occur when the store is somewhat busy so the maximum number of customers have to be juggled at once. As if that would not be enough on its own, one must remember that the arcade’s timer is counting down. Few things howl more than a chimpanzee with diaper rash and a mania for hiding habañero peppers rectally, but a previewer who’s burned forty minutes of his hour swapping out his movies makes the simian look like a mime. Bleeding the indecisive ones a couple bucks per swap seems to keep those encounters to a minimum.